Tuesday, December 13, 2016

No, he ain't dead yet.

It's been a while hasn't it? It felt like eternity from where I've been, but I have finally begun the painting again.  The intended studio space in the garage didn't work out, and would require thousands of dollars in improvements to become a truly functional space.  Combined with the loss of my father and several other personal crises in my home over the last couple years, I simply haven't had the will to create until very recently.

I'm told that I've been grieving since my father died at the end of April before last, but it feels more like crushing, despondency most of the time.  Maybe there's a difference, I don't know.  I do know that I pretty much went insane for much of the last eighteen months, acting foolish in a lot of ways, including my run for local office in 2015.

If you only know me through the magic of the Internet, a run at public office for me might not seem too outrageous, but those who know me well would agree that while I have a good head for public service, policy, and justice, I do not possess the disposition to work well with others for very long.

People irritate me; I pretty much hate them. I don't hate random individual people per se, but humanity in general has never shown me much to love.  My Facebook blocked list is several pages long.  I don't do well in crowds, I don't trust people I don't know.  No, it's more than simple distrust, I often suspect malevolent intent from total strangers.  I should see a therapist, but... bleh.
recent untitled collage

No, what I should really do is shut up and paint.

Recently I set up studio space in my basement, which isn't ideal, but it functions.  Currently I'm working on a new large scale female figure. That's her on the right of the photo below.  I also have three other pieces of similar size sketched out and ready for further development. And, I've also started dabbling with adding collage elements to some of my work, but what I'm really excited about is the mural.

As a kid, I always wanted to paint on the walls of my parents house, and to this day I have always looked at large blank wall spaces and imagined them covered in murals. Well, this house is my house, my basement, these are my walls, so I'm going to play around with a mural over the next few months.

If it goes well, I may eventually try a few murals. My garage has a long windowless wall that is visible from the street, until a new house is built next door.  I'll have to dream up something subversive for the parishioners up the street.
New mural, just for fun, in progress on left, new figure, acrylic on paintable textured wallpaper, WIP, right.

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